Imagine a day when you’re so caught up on a song that it gets your senses up like a volcano and the heartbeat sounds like a church bell.

Whatever it takes
‘Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I do whatever it takes
‘Cause I love how it feels when I break the chains
Whatever it takes
You take me to the top I’m ready for
Whatever it takes
‘Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I do what it takes’

Last evening, I put this song on loop, blasted the Bose speakers in the car and became impervious to the world outside. I had listened to the song before but never had I focused on the lyrics as much. As the song looped over and over, I began to understand the masterpiece that was at play. At some point, I started to feel a bit jealous of the lyricists for having come up with something so magnificent and reverberating but that was just short lived as I was transported to a world unknown and random.

If you’ve dreamt with your eyes wide open, you’ll know a little bit about randomness. It is a state perceived but impossible to achieve; it is a high yet a myth; it is a perception of strength but utterly vulnerable. The entire life you’ve lived and the one you want to live revolves in front of your eyes and you stare at it, without inhibition, regret or introspection; you see it just with a sense of euphoria. You recall every human being and precious thing you left behind, every incident that left a mark or even a scar, every word spoken or unspoken for those you love and just feel their presence around. It’s like taking a cold shower in winter and then wrapping yourself with a warm blanket and sipping hot chocolate. Its soul comforting, so to speak.

“Hypocritical, egotistical
Don’t wanna be the parenthetical, hypothetical
Working onto something that I’m proud of, out of the box
An epoxy to the world and the vision we’ve lost
I’m an apostrophe
I’m just a symbol to remind you that there’s more to see
I’m just a product of the system, a catastrophe
And yet a masterpiece, and yet I’m half-diseased
And when I am deceased
At least I go down to the grave and die happily
Leave the body and my soul to be a part of thee
I do what it takes”

I wish this was not just a song; it was a life that belonged to someone or is going to belong to someone. Reflections don’t come easy and for some of us who live in reflections, understanding life’s conundrums doesn’t come easy because we overthink and overreact. But we live our life happily, in our thoughts and in our dreams and strive foolishly every day believing in our thoughts and dreams. We crave for a world where elements flow naturally, without doubt; where creativity rules the roost and mind is appreciated over matter; where positive vibes take over subversive thoughts and behaviors.

‘Whatever it takes
‘Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I do whatever it takes
‘Cause I love how it feels when I break the chains
Whatever it takes
You take me to the top, I’m ready for
Whatever it takes
‘Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I do what it takes’

I didn’t realize when I reached home last night. The car pretty much steered itself home. I was surprised that I had no recollection of the drive; no bikes veering through my lanes, no cabs cutting through the sides; no outstation buses blocking free flowing roads, none whatsoever. It reminded me of the strength of the subconscious while making me aware of the frailties of the conscious. May be, routines can do that to you. The adrenaline stops flowing, mind is chained with broken concepts and one stops extending the boundaries to do what it takes. That’s what it reminded me and that’s probably why I was so zoned into the music last night.   

The dawn has broken through, the drive has begun and song from last night is still playing this morning. The difference being that my conscious and subconscious are both alive. I see life outside my window and cannot help but smile at the crowd jostling for space. I realise that it’s not a competition, it never was and never will be; not even with your own self. We are just caught in this time and space and we exist every day trying to make a difference; to bring a smile to our own soul and spread that joy to those we care about; whatever it takes cause I love the adrenaline in my veins.