There was a period in time when I would only associate with music built into a song. I would groove to the ebb and flow of the various notes but would never corroborate with the lyrics or try to understand how they fit in the scheme of things. Not until my friend asked me a question one day. He was listening to a song I was playing and asked me for the lyrics. When I downplayed the role it played in my understanding of the song, he took the time to make me go through the process involved in creating music from someone’s thoughts. He made me realise the magic that I was missing in a song by not threading the two.

Most of us have a song or a tune playing at the back of our mind, whether we realise it or not. It is like our subconscious guiding us through the decisions we’re taking actively. There are so many questions life poses to us every day and many a times, we exhaust ourselves looking for the right answer or the perfect answer but what we miss is that these answers are again questions in themselves. Every answer leads to a new question and the cycle continues. Music has helped me answer many of these questions in the past and it continues to give me that switch to turn to whenever I’m saddled with a new puzzle to solve. It helps me heal and move forward, irrespective of the situation I’m in. And that is a blessing to have, if you’re able to let the music heal you. Turning around a corner is one of the toughest thing to do in life. Sometimes music can burrow through the muscles of your heart and bring out the sorrow nestled inside. The thought of feeling such strong emotions can be daunting at times but getting it out in the open helps one move into higher echelons of revelations about self. Once we understand why we do things the way we do, it helps us bring about a change; mostly for the good. Introspection is a great thing to have in life; the ability to look yourself in the mirror at the start of a day and find a difference at the end of the day can be cathartic and propelling.

This week, my attention is fixated on a song by Coldplay. It’s called ‘Up and Up’ and it has a lovely feel to it. It starts slow in a lyrical fashion, has a dash of amazing guitar play in between which ups the crescendo and then there’s a musical collapse to unwind the summary. It actually mirrors how I feel; like it is the only place left to go. Now, I admit I’m crazy but not suicidal. What I mean is that elevating yourself bit by bit, taking your thoughts to a segment from where you feel better about who you are and where you’re going is ‘Up and Up’ to me and that’s the only place I am keen to go from here on. I’ve listened to so much noise arising from within in the past that music is now the only place left for me to find.

Just as planet earth rotates along its own axis on its way to completing its orbit around the sun, I have begun to rotate around my axis i.e. the fundamental elements of my parents to find my little orbit in this time and space. I’m not going to elaborate what that is because that is inconsequential but taking the time to find your roots and staying close to them can bring great value addition to one’s life. I’ve had my share of crises in the past, not one but many, some of them could also be associated with a life that I felt was not well defined or justified (midlife crisis is what most call it) but I have finally found a way out of that mess. All along, I’ve had a pillar on my side who’s shouldered my burdens and sorrows with unflinching love and affection. She’s someone who has never left my side despite time, circumstances and changing equations. She exists as a reflection, someone who shows me where I stand at every juncture so I can revisit myself if I don’t like what I see. I wish everyone is fortunate enough to find that level of feedback in their life because a life lived without introspection is like an untouched stone left at the bank of a river.

It is that time of the year when the sun plays hide and seek with the clouds. The gusts of wind have picked up and the trees have started to paint the town in hues of brown, yellow, red and orange. There’re droplets everywhere and as I drove back home tonight, there was only one thought that crossed my mind.