Maya was born in the hills of Kumaon. Maya’s parents, Ram and Chaaya Sehgal, were teachers, who left the city lights of Delhi to experience a life in the hilly regions of Kumaon among the majestic Himalayas. Chaaya was pregnant with Maya when they moved into their farmhouse in Pauri, a picturesque village in the Kumaon belt. The farmhouse overlooked a valley of flowers with several trails leading into the village below.

Ram and Chaaya named their daughter Maya to reflect how they felt about their new beginning. Having Maya in their arms was the culmination of a long cherished dream. Ram and Chaaya couldn’t really tell if Maya made her way into her mother’s womb because of prayers or due to their numerous visits to the gynecologist but they were overjoyed nevertheless. Maya’s willful eyes and dimpled smile had washed away all the strains of their past.

Maya was a curious child. She would crawl to every nook and corner of the house to explore and expand her knowledge of her surroundings. She would be the happiest when Chaaya would take her for walks along the hilly trails. Watching the butterflies would make her giggle and rejoice in laughter. Ram & Chaaya would often joke that Maya would learn to say ‘butterfly’ even before ‘mama’ or ‘papa’.

Maya was a quick learner. Ram was the principal of the village high school whereas Chaaya built a small business out of the farmhouse, growing apples and apricots. When Maya turned three, Ram started taking Maya to school so Chaaya could focus her time and energy into growing her business. Very soon, Maya became the center of attraction at the school. School staff and students would throng to meet the toddler who’d charm them with her wit and energy. At Maya’s insistence, Ram would allow her to occasionally sit through the kindergarten classes. To Ram’s surprise, Maya soon began to recite alphabets, numbers and poems as a symphony. Learning a skill, interacting with teachers and students to extract knowledge was a religion to Maya. She had many friends in school, who would often visit her at her parent’s farmhouse. From the beginning, Ram and Chaaya had instilled a sense of self belief and independent thinking in Maya which translated into Maya’s growing confidence in her abilities.

One Sunday, while Ram and Chaaya were having breakfast in the lawn, the farm supervisor, Gurdas, stopped by. Maya watched intently while Gurdas went about removing the saplings from the pots and planting them into the soil. She observed the care and focus with which Gurdas planted the saplings. Maya silently walked over to Gurdas and asked him, ‘Kaka, are you meditating?’ Gurdas, taken by surprise by the question, smiled and said ‘yes child, if bringing up a life form equates to meditation, then I am meditating.’ Maya looked at her parents and smiled. She, then, joined Gurdas kaka to help him finish the work in the garden. Under Gurdas’s tutelage, Maya soon learned the art of gardening and started maintaining the garden.

Maya transcended into teenage years seamlessly. Her success at building relationships, not just with people but with her surroundings allowed her to experience life with a measure of purpose. She did well in high school and her wealth of diverse skills guaranteed her an admission into all the top universities. She decided to major in ‘Environmental Economics’ at St. Stephens College in New Delhi.

Heart ache aside, Maya’s adjusted to her new surroundings in Delhi quickly. Having spent several summer vacations at her grandparent’s home, she was very familiar with all the hotspots of Delhi. Although, this time, she decided to stay at the college hostel where she met her roommate Aditi, a quiet yet thoughtful girl, who had travelled all the way from Chennai to study Arts and History. The bond between Maya and Aditi developed the minute they saw each other. It was comfort at first sight, which slowly translated into exchange of words, sentences and thoughts. Though they belonged to different streams, their camaraderie ensued that they both studied each other’s disciplines. While Maya listened to Aditi’s research into medieval history and architecture with keen attention, Aditi would make notes and help Maya in her thesis and dissertations. Very soon, Maya became the darling of the college. Men would flock to Maya with roses and flowers. Maya would accept them gracefully, understanding how men felt about her and how she felt about them. She knew no other form of love’s expression until one day she saw love’s true testimony.

It was a cold Delhi winter evening. Having finished her day’s classes, Maya was on her way to the hostel. She picked up some snacks from the hostel cafeteria for Aditi and herself when she remembered that she had left her sunglasses in the classroom. Not finding Aditi in the room, she dropped the paraphernalia and decided to get her sunglasses. On the way, she took a small detour to go via Aditi’s department just to see if she could spot her friend. Passing by Aditi’s classroom, she found the class area empty. Just when she was about to turn around, she saw two shadows appear momentarily on the lower window of the classroom from the headlight of a car passing by. Curious at the turn of events, Maya walked closer to the window and climbed up the dais to peek inside. At first, she could only see a couple in a romantic embrace. As the man began to undress the woman, she heard a soft chuckle. Maya recognised Aditi’s voice and bent over the window so she could see her friend. Aditi’s eyes glowed and her intensity of love making stunned Maya. A part of her wanted to leave but her stronger being forced her to watch the entire act.

As Maya started to walk back to her room, Aditi’s expression of love began to cloud Maya’s thoughts and Maya questioned if she had ever felt this way about any man before. Aditi’s complete surrender to the man confused Maya even more as Maya was not sure if it was the sex or the love Aditi felt for the man. Lost in these thoughts, Maya did not realise when Aditi entered the room. Aditi watched Maya’s agitation without interrupting and put a warm blanket around Maya to protect her from the freezing weather.

The next morning, Maya woke up feeling fresh and energetic. The turmoil of last night was somehow gone and she looked forward to the busy day ahead. The college cultural festival was a few weeks away and as president of the student body, Maya had the responsibility of organising the entire event. She needed a few volunteers to manage the event and one of the volunteers was Vikram, a final year Commerce student, whom Maya knew from her friend’s circle. Vikram liked Maya and had tried several times to get close to her. When Vikram came to see Maya, Maya began to question how she felt about Vikram. That she had begun to evaluate her relationships with men in a new dimension tortured and excited her at the same time. Vikram had come along with another guy. Maya recognised him instantly. It was the same person whom Aditi had made love to. When Vikram introduced him as Sanjay, Maya felt sheepish at first but controlled herself before Sanjay could gauge her dilemma. While discussing the event details, Maya realised that Vikram had great organisational skills. Noticing a change in Maya’s behaviour towards him, Vikram took complete charge of the event. He misunderstood Maya’s state of mind and asked her out soon after the event. Taken aback, Maya asked him to give her some time to think it over.

Back in her room, Maya narrated the incident to Aditi and sought her advice. Aditi realised that it was the right time to tell Maya about her own relationship with Sanjay and asked Maya how she felt about Vikram.

‘Does he excite you, Maya? Aditi asked. ‘I don’t know Aditi, he is a charming guy, good at everything, a good friend too but I don’t know that feeling’, Maya replied.

After listening to Aditi talk about Sanjay, Maya decided to decline Vikram’s proposal. The next day, Maya met Vikram at the library and conveyed her decision.

Vikram moved out of the campus after graduation and Maya did not see him until after four years when she went for an interview at a firm. Vikram was a senior manager there and was pleasantly surprised to see Maya. Though awkward at first, Maya handled the interview professionally. When she was offered the position, she accepted it without giving much thought about sharing a professional relationship with Vikram. Maya had dated several men in the past four years but had not found someone who made her feel how she wanted to feel in love. Though composed from the outside, she had slowly grown conscious and, to an extent, desperate in her search for love. Vikram had not married and still fancied Maya. Growing camaraderie with Maya in the office gave him new hope that he may persuade her once again.

One evening while Vikram and Maya were working late to prepare a report, Maya pulled Vikram close and kissed him gently. Pleasantly surprised, Vikram responded and held her in a tight embrace. They made love in the confines of Vikram’s cabin and left office in the wee hours of the morning. Upon reaching home, Maya went straight to the washroom and sat naked under the shower. Hours later, cold and shaken, she stepped out and made herself some coffee. She called office and took the next few days off. Vikram, surprised at Maya’s absence, called her but she did not respond. When Maya returned to office, she maintained her distance from Vikram. The week passed by and Vikram became increasingly frustrated at not receiving the kind of reaction he had hoped from Maya. Unable to hold his anxiety any longer, he confronted Maya.

‘What’s wrong, Maya? Why are you behaving as if nothing happened between us?’ Maya was thoughtful for a moment and then replied, ‘What do you think should happen next?’

Vikram cursed and walked away. A few months passed by and one evening, Vikram stopped by Maya’s house with a bouquet of orchids and asked her to marry him. Maya accepted the bouquet and accepted his proposal. Vikram, though happy, was circumspect at Maya’s acceptance.  That he understood little about her made him uneasy but he loved Maya and he believed that would be enough for their relationship to work.

Maya wanted the wedding to be a small event. Vikram agreed. After they returned from their honeymoon, Maya decided to quit her job and look after home. Maya was a charming wife and took complete care of all of Vikram’s necessities but she could not give Vikram what he had hoped for. Vikram immersed himself in work and in the next three years, he rose to be the executive vice president of the company. Success brought him fame and recognition. He started getting invitations to a lot of corporate parties and social gatherings and he enjoyed attending them. Maya found most of those events boring and chose to spend time at home or doing things that kept her creativity alive. They both had attained a level of compromise in their life until one day Maya was invited to chair a literary event in the same hotel where Vikram had organised a party for his staff and friends. After finishing her event, Maya was about to leave when she saw Vikram walking from the other entrance with a lady by his side. Vikram did not see Maya and walked inside the galleria where his party was being held. Maya followed Vikram into the party and saw Vikram put an arm around the lady and escort her from one guest to another. She watched the entire scene in indignation when Sanjay spotted her and pulled her aside into an adjacent room.

‘What the hell is going on between my husband and that piece of trash?’ Maya’s patience was at its lowest ebb and she was ready to burst.

Sanjay knew that she was serious. ‘Look, Maya. There is nothing going on between the two of them. Just a little bit of healthy flirting, I’d say.’

‘Flirting? Healthy flirting? Really Sanjay . . .’ she rolled her eyes in disgust. ‘That’s what you men call it? There is nothing healthy about flirting, Sanjay, not for a married man.

Healthy flirting is a term introduced by perverted men who want to lend legitimacy to their extramarital dalliances. Flirting invariably has a sexual connotation to it.’ She got up from her seat and walked around the room gesticulating and muttering something to herself. Suddenly she stopped, turned back, looked at Sanjay and asked, ‘Did my husband sleep with her? You are his friend. Did he ever tell you anything about it?’

‘I really don’t know, Maya. He comes to every party with a different woman. Knowing him, I don’t think he sleeps with either but I don’t see why something would stop him from doing so if he chose to’ replied Sanjay.

Maya, recovering from her bout of anger, thanked Sanjay and left. Once home, Maya sat down and wrote a short note to Vikram.

‘Vikram, I’m sorry that I am unable to give you a life you deserve. Find someone you love who loves you in return – Maya’.

Thereafter, she packed her clothes and moved out of the house. After finishing a chapter of her life with Vikram, Maya returned to her parent’s home in Kumaon to spend a few days. At peace with her surroundings, she started gardening again. One Sunday morning, Maya noticed a gentleman drop by the farmhouse. He went straight to the orchard and removed a few instruments to measure the soil pH and temperature. Finding the conditions optimal, he began to dig the area to transfer the apricot saplings from the nursery onto the soil. Small puddles of sweat formed on his brow while he focused on the task. After completing the work, he joined her parents for tea where her parents introduced him as Sirish, the town horticulture expert and a social worker, who looked after their farmhouse as a hobby. Maya smiled. For the first time, she understood the feeling Aditi had for Sanjay. Maya’s eyes shone brightly as she extended her hand to Sirish in welcome. Sirish took Maya’s hand. For a brief moment, their thoughts intersected. There were many things to feel and say, they both realised. Maya got up and joined Sirish on a walk along the flower valley. The butterflies were about to come alive, all over again.